1: <Jammer> {I'm so tempted to type "* Jammer stumbles in while in wolf form, devouring everyone in site."}
<Jammer> {'Cause, you know, yesterday was the full moon.}
<Arusia> ( i know. and my dog is in heat...)
<Flidais> (I'll turn you into a fckin' tree)

2: <Loccrist> that was really not neccessary
<Loccrist> is there a point to that?
<Malroth> not really
<Malroth> but the lack of a point didnt stop me
<Loccrist> I hope the lack of a point on my pencil doens't stop it from protrding into your cerebellum...

3: * Flidais looks down, his hood covering his face and whispers "Great Godess, reveal the true nature of this place."
<Flidais> ?df
<Jammer> {That's Goddess.}
<Flidais> (7 altogether)
<Vandalin> (yeah if you can't spell her name right why should she help you?)
<Flidais> ('cause i rolled a +7 :P)

4: Briarwood is the pretty poison. There is no escape from Briarwood.

5: "No, please, continue. I'm just cold, hungry, and I want sex. Oh, great, I'm becoming a typical male." - Michael

6: "Prezen food! This tastes just like prezen food!" - Jessi

7: "I love being able to run the mouse on my pants.." - Colin

8: "colitopophobia, fear of colin's topics" - Nimby

9: <Jammer> {*baps Nimby* No nookie for you.}

10: <Jallak> But just as Tinkerbell was ressurected by children clapping their hands, the Vacation Fairy may still have a chance if children who believe in fairies all go and bomb their schools.

11: *** Ark has quit IRC (Have you ever been so terrified that your breath froze in your mouth? Have you ever been so furious that your heart felt seconds away from combustion? Have you ever been so despondent that you couldn't stop laughing? Haven't we all.)

12: <Vandalin> i'm gonna go find food, this may take a while for me, so if i don't return..i probably was poisoned by my own cooking or i died of starvation, not wanting to die of food poisoning...

13: <Nimbus> heres the plan, you guys draw their fire and i'll go to the past and shoot their mothers? any questions?
<Roland> yea, um..can kay draw there fire and i can go get the doll and run alot?
<Nimbus> that will still draw their fire, they always shot the guy with the doll
<Roland> ..i know, damn me and my girly play time obsessions.

14: <Meeko> "Hi ravers, it's me again, Jesus Christ. And in this time of confusion, there's bound to be questions popping into your head. Questions like, is it okay to eat this little white pill? Well, I say it is. 'Cuz everyone knows that ravers love ecstasy. And everyone knows that Jesus Christ loves ravers."

15: "she said she liked it.
She also said it was "Cute."
*smirks*
That's probably the last word I would use for a penis
i mean
there's not like bunny ears on the fucking thing.
So it was funny. *smirks*" - Ryan

16: Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you never fell asleep.

17: Irrationality does the body good!

18: "Ms. Dooley is a real monster." "Please don't tell me it took you three years to figure that one out.."

19: I can only please one person per day. Today is NOT your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

20: "All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears--of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required." - Dave Barry

21: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of cranberries!

22: "Postbodezoon met drie koppen!" - "You three headed son of a postal employee!"

23: <Silence> Smurfs meet Batman meet Jaws: Battle of the Unimaginative Yet Catchy Themesongs!

24: Holy inappropriate pleasures, Batman! My Batbeeper is vibrating!

25: *** Roland has quit IRC (BM "do you know what happens to a giant when its blasted with a fireball?" SD "er..no, what?" BM "the same thing that happens to everything else!" SD "dude that line sucks")
<Floyd> BM: "do you know what happens when an idiot leaves IRC?" SD: "er..no, what?" BM: "he has a really stupid quit message!" SD: "dude that quit message sucks"

26: <Desken> your all having c-sex in private
<Desken> otherwise you'd answer first
<Marle> ......... uh... no... that's for sickos
*** Iris sets mode: +b *!*@ppp-6-163.30-151.libero.it
*** Desken was kicked by Iris (Iris)
<Iris> Fatal error.

27: "Now if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange your transfer and attach your penis." - Guy from some funny alien movie

28: From The Daily Show on Comedy Central.. John: "Hey, Bill, what're you doing?" Bill: "I'm assuming the presidency." John: "You can't do that." Bill: "Why not? Bush did."

29: "Yeah... it's just kinda like those people that regain sight after being blind for 10 years and then walking into a pole, but more common." - A conversation with Zak about depression.

30: <Vandalin> (i wouldn't try taking Blaze on, he'll eat your sweet and sour ass)
<Arusia> (kinky)
<Yuriko> (I'm not a chinese dinner)
<Vandalin> (tell him that)

31: <Taze> Family bondage time

32: <Nimbus> i'll stick with my body, it's free <-- Charlie admits he works for free

33: <Misty> Nah. I just have the ability to laugh in the face of death, or at least snicker.

35: <Deruta> Hah. Only three days of French and I can already talk to myself.
<Deruta> Cool.
<Deruta> Four more years of this and I should be able to have conversations with other people.

36: <Iris> I'm getting sick of being disconnected. ><
*** Iris has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

37: <Vixen> The Sixth Sex.
<Vixen> "*raspy breath* I fuck dead people." *cue porn music*

38: <Wert> ..Yes, your bot likes you, but it doesn't like anyone else.
<Vandalin> yeah i know, which is why i really like it
<Wert> At least my script hates everyone equally.
<Jammer> And nobody else likes you

39: "Drugs are for people who can't handle real life. Real life is for people who can't handle roleplay."

40: "How, given little over half a century of work, did one man become the creative equivalent of a people?" --The Guardian

41: "My memory is like a pasta strainer." - Kendra

42: <Iris> 8ball, You're low-minded. >F
<Zero_Plushie> I can't answer this question because it goes against my religious beliefs!!
<Arkaine> :P
<Iris> 8ball, it wasn't even a DAMNED QUESTION! THERE!
<Zero_Plushie> Yes.
<Iris> 8ball, no
<Zero_Plushie> I AM SAAAAAAAAILOR MOOOOOOOON!
<Iris> ................
<Armitage> o.o

43: * `Alex becomes a true floridian and gets really old
<Wert> people go to florida to die.
* Sion runs Alex over with a golf cart.
<`Alex> ...oops... *dies* x.x
<Wert> it's like the afterlife, but different.
<Wert> "Where's your grandma?" "Oh, she went to florida." "Oh.. i'm sorry.."

44: To sleep...perchance to dream? ay, there's the rub; in the sleep of death what dreams may come...

45: <Colin> MY day was god, honey. And i pray to it every morning. (stupid typos.) My gay was GOOD. (Damnit.) MY DAY WAS GOOD!'

46: <Scibert> "Barbara Bush knew it was going to be a long four years when she looked into Dan Quayle's ear and saw a one-inch tall leprochaun giving her the finger."

47: joshua_n : "Being the idiot that he is, josh accidently buys the new HBV2 when he is lvl 11."

48: <Jammer> WHAT DO YOU CALL FIFITY JOINTS AND A BUCKET?
<bipolaroid> HEAVEN!

49: <Orin> And now, its time for another....Useless Facts
* Magdelena has THO >.<
* Wert blinks
<Wert> ..Nice timing, too..

50: <Sion> No. I call Wert "Colin", and we don't have any sort of kinky relationship going on.

51: <Sion> Just because Margret moved to Sally's cubby doesn't mean Bob does too.

52: <Wert> ..We're depressed, but we're having an orgy; we're losers, but we're couples. <-- From Colin in #depressed_losers

53: * Wert then switches back to M:tG and taps Wert, attacking with him
<Sion> Tapping the Wert.. that's what I'm gonna call it from now on.
<Wert> ...Are you calling me a dick?

54: Some random guy holds up a fake wooden rifle and yells, "You can take our lives, but you can never take our freedom!" He drops it and runs. Kendra calmly continues walking, commenting as she does, "Hmm. Must be a percussionist."

55: <Wert> <you> Mom, how long can I stay up? <mom> Go to bed, Kayleigh.

56: [16:02] *** Lilith` is now known as Sabby-[Writing]
[16:04] *** Sabby-[Writing] is now known as Sabeth
[16:04] <Kyoroku> That was quick.
[16:05] <Iris> How many novels did you write in that period? o.o
[16:05] <Sabeth> a few.
[16:05] <Sabeth> lost count after the first few seconds.

57: God rest ye merry gentlemen, I can rest assure..
That deep within my heart of black I've something you've.. Never seen before!
And deep within my bubbling soul..
I'll crush all that is pure..
May you avoid me, and save yourselves for sure.. Just for sure..
Avoid me now and save yourselves for sure!

58: <Jallak> clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, BLAM! BLAM! clip, clop - Amish drive-by shooting.

59: * Sion r0x0rz j00r b0x0rz.

60: <Hatchet> Hurray for shit boxes we call comps
<OverWing> Not just regular shit boxes.
<OverWing> Shit boxes that GLOW, a-ha...

61: Shenlong II: Here's my twin.
Shenlong III: hello
Me: II and III.. What happened to I?
Shenlong II: He got deleted.

62: <Sion> Hehe.. inserted it in the wrong spot.

63: <JoSleep> Windows 95 is a 32 bit extension for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

64: <JasonR> btw, dun be too hard on me if I'm generally irritable, grouchy, and ping out a lot - it's that time of the month -_- <Eric_PileOfAshes> O.O;;; <JasonR> ...time of the month when Windows needs to be reinstalled, obviously o.o

65: *** Malroth is now known as Neo_Malroth
<Carterci> damn, he's ugly!
* Neo_Malroth is glowing.
<Carterci> damn, he's ugly, and luminescent!

66: <Turin> Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

67: * Dark-Light giggles only know ghetto shakespeare :<juliet> romeo romeo where for art thou?? < lil romeo> yo baby I'm right here no check it why dont ya slid on down and we can get or freak on in the back of the benz ight "

68: "Hog future. Hogs don't have no future. Bacon is NOT a career." - Gallagher

69: <Logbot> Quote it's the taliban's fault: <APanda> i was illudeing to the fact that everything bad that has happened lately had immieadetly been blamed on the tallibon <Scarab> "Taxes are high." "Taliban." "Airport security is annoying." "Taliban." "Water is too wet." "Taliban." <Kira-chan> "How'd you sprain your ankle?" "It was probably the Taliban." <APanda> damnit! <APanda> i lost 5,000 in craps <APanda> fucking taliban

70: <Zero> About computer cables:
<IJ> Basics first. Make sure it's plugged in.
<IJ> Advanced concepts. Make sure it's plugged in. Correctly.
* Aragon gasps
<Aragon> THATS what i've been doing wrong
<Aragon> i thought you were to make sure it was loose and if it wasn't you were supposed to call your computer a devil machine and smash it with a tree branch
<Zero> that could cause it to be worse off than to begin with
<Aragon> a shovel then?

71: <Deruta> Kay, how's Jess?
<Loki> Jesus? Oh, he's alright
<Dark_Angel> I'm on the phone with her, she seems okay.
<Deruta> Well, I havn't talked or seen her in a bit.
<Myron> ....where my spleen?
<Loki> You know, except for the whole thing with being dead, he's doin good
<Deruta> Wasn't sure if she was dead or something. Cuz that'd be bad n' all.
<Deruta> Tell her I said hi
<Loki> You're on the phone with jesus?
<Deruta> Yes.
<Loki> Tell him i said his dad is starting to piss me off and he's gonna get his ass kicked if he doesn't watch it.
<Deruta> Loki: I couldn't tell him. He said somehthing about the llamb burning and ran off.

72: <Loki> I'm buysexual
<Loki> i'll buy it if i have to
<Deruta> I like to have orgasms when I buy thigns too.

73: <Dark_Angel> MONITOR JUST DID SOMETHING WEIRD.
<Deruta> What it do!?
<Deruta> OH GOOD LORD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
<toby> did it ask for katsup?
<Deruta> Mine did that once.
<Deruta> So I slapped it and said "Shut up you stupid bitch. Now make me some chicken."
<Deruta> And it didn't.
<Deruta> So I broke it.
<Deruta> Now I have a new one! He does ORAL SEX!!! ^.^
<Deruta> Oh Bob.. You've always been so good to me.

74: <theothernathan> tomato hand grenades?
<Sabre`> "Fisher Price: What will they come up with next?"

75: Colin: "We almost had an orgy on Halloween."
Me: "Really? Wow. Why didn't you?"
Colin: "Because not everyone would take their socks off."

76: <Nimbus> nature was baconing, i dared not refuse for fear of dampening myself...

77: <Jammer> Nem, Zer and I had an affair.
<Nemesis^> o no
* Nemesis^ kills himself
<Jammer> I hope you're not mad. Zer didn't even notice.

78: <Joey> goddamnit, why do my drawings always scan upside down?! *Flips his scanner over and wipes his hands, satisfied* Now let's see how YOU like it!

79: <Khross> YOU FOOLS MY SEXY PANTS ARE INDESTRUCTABLE

80: <Vixen> I disagree, but whatever floats your boat.
<Taze> Baths.
<Taze> I used to have a little sail boat.
<Taze> It floated in my bath.

81: <Sion> I once saw a kid in a store about to buy some coca-cola.. and the mom was like "Oh no you don't! Too much caffiene for you. Put that back and get some Mountain Dew or something." and so the kid did.

82: *** Sion has joined #RedDragonInn
<Dai-Chan> WB
<Sion> Thanks.
<Nimbus> wubs
<Deruta> OH Sion! We were just having a nice warm conversation having to do with the colors of human pewp in congruency with the shift and rotation of the earth and the moon.
<Deruta> You?
<Sion> .. I took a wee-wee.
<Deruta> Sweet.

83: "Holy inferiority complex, Batman! How low is my self-esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?" - Two doctors from "Scrubs"

84: <Joseph_Tiger> ...um...times change! Ha! *runs off*
* Sky runs after Joseph
* Sky tackles him and strips him and ties him down
* Sky then wanders off proudly
* Joseph_Tiger has no idea what happened, but is very confused.
<Lil_Bit> Run by.... stripping?

85: <Nimbus[proxy]> does my hair make my butt look big, or is it just my gluttony?
<Sabre`> I think it's your pants.

86: <Sion> I'd love to see a football player get tacklehuggled by another player in a live NFL game. I'd laugh my ass off.
<Sion> "And Thomson is down! But.. what the hell is Kinney doing to him?!"

87: Minivans are tangible evidence of evil.

88: * Misty gets off
<Sion> ...
<Sion> I hope you meant you stood up.

89: "People who can't crap type me up.. Wait. That wasn't what I meant.." - Colin

90: Me: "Jesus Rice!"
Joe: "Is that anything like Uncle Ben's?"

91: Me: "Alida's such a punk."
Sarah: "Yeah, I agree, but I call everybody a punk."
Me: "This is true."
Sarah: "Alida's just especially punk-ish."

92: * Wendolf puts a cigar in nimbus's mouth
* Nimbus blinks and coughs up a lung
* Roland takes the lung and sells it on ebay for 10 bucks
* Wendolf blinks and shakes his heasd
* Nimbus buys it and sells it for 20
* Roland buys it and sells it for 10
* Nimbus buys it and sells it for 30
* Roland buys it and sells it for 10.
* Nimbus buys it and sells it for 40
* Roland buys it and sells it for 10.
* Nimbus buys it and sells it for 400
* Roland buys it and sells it for 10,000,000,000,000
* Nimbus lets someone else have it

93: * Lilith` turns cowwin into satan.
<Lilith`> now you are my bitch.
<Lilith`> die.
<Lilith`> uh oh.
* Wert turns himself into God
* Lilith` ducks.
<Wert> There.
* Lilith` reverses
<Wert> Now you are MY bitch.
* Kiote becomes the Goddess
<Kiote> BWAHAAA!
<Kiote> NOW YOU'RE ALL MY BITCHES!!!!
<`Jared> ...I don't mind being Ki's bitch. :D
* Deruta becomes a cute little kowala bear.
<Deruta> NOW I AM ALLLLL OF YOUR BITCHES!!! PH33R!!!
<Deruta> ...Wait... >.<
* Kiote snorts
<Deruta> Damnit!

94: Suddenly a large glowing white spirit appeared and spoke, "Vacuis, you are the chosen one!" Vacuis looked up and yelled, "No!! I have a life! I want to go to Dorkmire!" "You must come with me, it is your destiny!" boomed the voice. "Screw you!" "Come with me." "Screw you! I want to be a carpenter!"

95: <Malroth> i went up and completely passed the physical except
<Malroth> I COULDNT PISS WHEN ASKED!

96: <Chaz> 3+33
<Chaz> 33.33.+3
<Chaz> ..3
<Chaz> .63
<Chaz> .63.
<Chaz> (Sorry.. keyboard was gunky.)
<Chaz> (Cleaned it ^.^)
<Nathan-> (( SHH!! He's giving us the code for immortality! ))
<Nathan-> (( . . . ))

97: <Chibi-Chaz> Hey, do you really want Sig to be left behind like me when rapture comes, hmm?

98: <Sion> I can't believe tomorrow's Christmas Eve..
<Turner> shit
<Turner> it is?
<Turner> i need to start christmas shopping
<Turner> !!!

99: watashi wa enpitsu desu, enpitsu desu, enpitsu desu, watashi wa enpitsu desu, ohayou desu yo!

100: "Pet my partrage, damn you. It's in a pear tree. And it wants your SOUL!" "Oh, is that what they call it now."

102: <Hatchet> Procrastination is like masturbation.. you're fucking yourself, hehe..

103: <Aethis> bi-bang <Aethis> ... *Blink <Aethis> ...BWAHAHAHAHAHA <Garland> Come again?

104: *** `Alex (Scyther24@AC907B68.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Six presidents on a sinking ship: <Ford> What do we do????? <Bush> Man the lifeboats! <Reagan> What lifeboats???? <Carter> Women first! <Nixon> Screw the women! <Clinton> You think we have time?)

105: <Shinrai> When I was in thigh school, we couldn't take english I in the 8th grade

106: <Mint`> !8ball Isn't green ketchup AWESOME!? <FMUDServ> Mint`: Take off your pants. <Mint`> ...

107: <Sotek> ...XP's better than ME. Admittedly, so is a steaming sack of shit. ;)

108: * Wendolf wants a day named after evil people. <Nimbus> they do, they call it mothers day

109: "I just wanna be left alone, in a room with a comfy chair by a fireplace, peace and quiet, and a TeaCozy. I don't even know what a TeaCozy is, but I want one." - Buffy the vampire slayer

110: * Nimbus goes to kill the system <Auryn> making your computer replace the tv, vcr, dvd player, radio, microwave, refridgerator, lamp, paper shredder, space heater, alarm clock, air raid siren, etc?